Opening Day

Today is a bitter sweet day. While it's opening day and I'm really excited that baseball is back, I also know that it's the last time opening day will occur at Yankees Stadium. Im sure the new stadium will be awesome next season, but there is just something so special and so magical about the current Yankees stadium. And if Base Ruth put a curse on the Red Sox for trading him, what will he do to the Yankees when they tear down "his" stadium? Yikes.

Last night, I was so hungry for baseball, that I actually tuned in and watched a little of the Nats game. Wow, a walk off home run by your franchise player, what a cool way to win your first game in a new stadium. Almost seems a little too perfect. The new Nationals stadium looks really nice. I just hope the local area fans support the team. Last year, there were a few games where only like 12,000 fans showed up. That's pretty sad. Im sure this season with all the buzz of the new stadium, that they will feel the majority of the seats. It's 3 or 4 years down the road that I see people losing interest. The Nats are in a tough division, so they have their work cut out for them.

I'll finish up by borrowing a David Letterman joke. "It's opening day, and out in Queens, the Mets have been mathematically eliminated".

Oh That Crazy Flickr

Hi squilky,

Yay! Barack Obama has marked you as a contact!

Here's a link to Barack Obama's profile :

http://www.flickr.com/people/barackobamadotcom/

And photos here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/barackobamadotcom/

See ya!

Thanks Meth Heads

Because they used to use Sudafed to make crystal meth, Sudafed along with alot of other cold/sinus medication makers have stopped using pseudophedrine in their products. They replaced it with phenylephrine, which is derived from the Latin meaning "doesn't do anything!"

Im gonna have to go to CVS during my lunch break to see if any product still contains pseudophedrine. Either than or Im gonna have to score some meth from Amy Winehouse. I'm ready to cut my head off my head/face hurts so bad.

Even with this blinding headache, I'm still able to pump out 70 point words in Scrabble. Yeah baby!

Drillbit Taylor

Who's idea was it to pair up a suicidal heroin addict with a bunch of kids and put them in a movie together?

What's next, Amy Winehouse in High School Musical 3? Seriously, have you seen her meth sores?

I recently read an interview with an up and coming author named Jodi Picoult. She has a #1 best seller named "A Change of Heart" which is about a child who is murdered. The murdered is convicted and sentenced to death. The child who was murdered, has a sibling who needs a heart transplant. The only doner they can find happens to be the convicted killer who killer her little brother. In the interview she talks about the experience of sitting in on an execution. It changed my views on the death penalty. Of course if anything ever happened to Rachel or Max, I could probably be swayed back to the other side.

Here's a link to an audio interview she did on DC101.

The beginning is her talking about pants, but about 3 minutes in she starts talking about her death row experience.

Stuff...

I love the band Kiss, but man is that Gene Simmons reality show terrible. Everything is so scripted and fake. It's more like a really bad 80's sitcom than a reality show. Oh and Gene's son is freakishly tall. Seriously, I don't know how tall he is, but he's like a foot taller than everyone else on the show.

Max slept from 10:30PM to 5AM this morning and it was glorious!!!

Free Tibet, ya'll!!!

Sure Paul McCartney makes more than $50 million dollars a year in interest, but does Heather Mills really deserve $50 million dollars? 1) Paul is a Beatle 2) He's been knighted! 3) He wrote frickin' Let it Be! 4) Paul has TWO legs

If Heather Mills was together with Paul when he wrote some of his classics and she was the inspiration behind the songs, then maybe she deserves a wad of cash. But all she did was spread her leg and spit out a kid. Come on! He's a Beatle!!!

I bet Linda McCartney is laughing her ass off of in Rock n Roll wives heaven.

When does daylight savings time begin?

Meghan McCain is kinda hot. Not Amy Adams hot, but hot for a potential first daughter. I still think Mrs. McCain is gorgeous. Sure she's older now, but I bet back in the day she was quite the head turner. She's easy on the eyes if ya know what I mean.

Dear Vitamin Water, why do you want me to pay $1.50 for a bottle of watered down fruit punch?

I read that the drummer for Abba dies after a fall in his home. I bet he was rocking out to Dancing Queen.

George Michael "retired" last year, and now the local sports here in DC is done by a hottie named Lindsay Czarniak. Hubba Hubba. She knows her sports, and she's cute. Winner!!! She's still not as hot as Warner Wolf however.




Is there anything more tasty than oatmeal chocolate chip cookies?

I bet security guards are really good at crossword puzzles and sudoku.

There's this show called Technology Jones on Mojo. The show is about this eccentric, electronics junkie. The show is total crap, and the guy is such a douche bag, but I couldn't turn it off. Hey it's in high def!

There's another show on Mojo called Gear. They recently did a show about "recreational weaponry". They coolest item was this pneumatically powered launcher. Picture a hand held grenade launcher. And you can put anything up to like 2 inches in diameter in this thing. So they were firing hot dogs, golf balls, D sized batteries, carrots. It was awesome. What guy wouldn't love one of those? It kind of reminded me of Homer Simpsons invention of the makeup gun.

Uh oh....Chongo!!!!

Alyson vs Jenna vs Amy

There's been a lot of talk lately about Alyson Hannigan, Jenna Fisher and Amy Adams. Well not really, most of the talk is by Niel and I. But anway, I did a google search of the three and tried to find natural looking photos from red carpet type events that aren't all airbrushed and glamorized. First of all it was hard finding a photo of Alyson Hannigan where she didn't have her finger up her nose or her ass. But I did manage to find one:











Then it came time to find one of Jenna Fisher. I had trouble finding photos of her where she didn't look like a whore, or where she wasn't surrounded by more talented, more popular cast members like Will Ferrell, Rain Wilson and Steve Carell. There were also a lot of pictures where she looked drunk. I'm not saying she has a drinking problem, but the pictures and her falling down a flight of stairs last spring speak for themselves. Glug Glug. But after scrolling through pages and pages of photos, I found one! Here she's giving her, "I'm the least talented person on the Office" look.










When it came to finding a photo of Amy Adams, it was so hard to choose. There are so many photos of an oscar nominated LEADING LADY, who can sing, and is also classically trained in dance. The hard part was to find a photo where she didn't look too beautiful. I wanted to give Alyson and Jenna a fighting chance.

Billy F-ing Crystal?

I feel like it's a privilege to put on the Yankees jersey and take the field as a Yankees player. It's reserved for athletes who have devoted their lives to the game they love. So when I heard that the Yankees were letting Billy Crystal play in tomorrows exhibition game, it really pissed me off.

Not only is Billy Crystal a douchbag, the guy is 60 years old! A professional baseball diamond is no place for a member of AARP unless it's Old Timers Day. The Yankees will probably put him in right field, out of harms way. But Im hoping they put him at 2nd base. And I hope he goes to cover the bag to turn two and someone from the Pirates slides in hard and takes his ass out. "This is for City Slickers Two..." BAM!!! Or better yet, put him at 3rd. Have a line drive go flying at him. The hot seat would be the perfect place for Billy. And come on, you're 60 years old and still going by Billy? To my sisters I'll probably always be Mikey, but I'm not using Mikey in my professional life.

The most pathetic thing is going to be seeing him in the uniform. Most people can get away with wearing the top of a jersey. But when you put on baseball pants, that's when you can really tell the non athlete from the professional ball player. I don't think "Billy" has any muscle tone whatsoever, so I bet his uniform pants will be all baggy and saggy. Unbelievable!

I heard the Mets are considering making Jenna Jamison on honorary member of their spring training squad. This way they will have someone who sucks more than the rest of the team. HA!!!!

So this whole Elliott Spitzer scandal, I hear that other big names may be exposed in this ring. You have to figure that if these women are getting $4000 a night, their clients all have to be pretty wealthy people. There is even a rumor that CNN anchor Wolf Blitzer used the same escort service as the NY governor. And there may have even been a Spitzer/Blitzer three way at some point. That's hot!

But seriously, I hope for $4000 that the hooker wasn't a Spitzer if you know what I mean.

Spitzer? I don't even know 'er!

Spitzer? I damn near killed 'er!

I got a million of em folks...

The Great Yogurt Conspiracy

I'm a big fan of the light variety store brand of yogurt sold by Bloom and Harris Teeter. It's the right thing to do, and the tasty way to do it, damnit! They taste exactly the same, so I'm guessing they are packaged in the same plant. I noticed that at Bloom, they had 8 ounce containers while Harris Teeter sold their yogurt in 6 oz containers. So I would normally buy it at Bloom since I got 2 ounces more for the same price. Well imagine my disappointment when I went to Bloom this sunday and all their yogurt is now sold in 6 ounce containers as well. WTF? How can they just decide to reduce the content by 25% and charge the same amount?

It's another case of the consumer getting screwed. They charge is the same, but we get less. That just sucks!

What Time is It?

Man, my internal clock is all screwed up. Max seemed to have a little trouble figuring out what time it was. He was a little off yesterday and ended up waking up at 3:45 last night. I got up to get him so Rachel could sleep for another hour. Max fell back to sleep in my arms, but I never fell back to sleep. So im all screwed up today. Only slept from 11:45 to 3:45, which is really 10:45 to 2:45, so Im delirious today.

Watching SNL this weekend confirmed my initial feelings that Amy Adams is the loveliest lady in Hollywood right now. They did these two sketches where they tried to say that Kristin Wiig and Amy could be twins. Yeah, right! I mean Kristin is attractive in her own way, but she's no Amy Adams. When Kristin Wiig farts, do they smell like maple syrup and pancakes? I don't think so. And have you seen that twinkle in Amy Adams eye when she smiles? She lights up the screen.

Ya know what's sad about SNL. Remember back in the day, when the show would end and the whole stage would be filled with cast members? NBC has cut back on the crew so dramatically that after the last show, even with Vampire Weekend on the stage with the entire cast, the stage looked so empty.

That new show on Fox with Karen from the Office is so bad. They try to rip off Seinfeld so much. Last night the one guy is dating this hot girl and she seems perfect. She makes him laugh, she's interesting, and they are getting a long great. Then he notices that she has this thing that looks like a cashew growing out of her back and it freaks him out. Ok isnt this the same premise that was on Seinfeld about a dozen times? The woman with man hands, the woman who dresses like a super hero, the woman with the fungus cream. Man that new show sucks.

There are drugs in our drinking water! AHHHHH!!!!!

BOING!!!!

Hey you crazy kats and chics, don't forget to turns your clock ahead 1 hour this weekend!!!

Around the ol' Water Cooler

A few of at work (who were gathered around an imaginary water cooler) were discussing what happened on this date. Besides being the final day of the seige on the Alamo, the start of a major US bombing offensive on Berlin during WWII, and the day Bayer first patended asperin, it was also the date that Walter Cronkike signed off as CBS anchor for the last time and the day that Magellan discovered Guam. It's also the birthday of Michelangelo. So anyway, we found this cool website (using Wifi and our hand held devices since we were gathered around the water cooler), that shows you historic facts from each day of the year. So I clicked on my birthday and was surprised at all the famous people I share my birthday with. Whitey Ford, Carrie Fisher, Dizzie Gillsespie, Charles Nobel (the Nobel prize guy) and Jeremy Miller (Ben Seaver from Growing Pains).
That is a wacky mix of people!!!

Then I looked up Max's birthday and discovered that he was born on the same day as Billy the Kid. Yikes and 14th president of the US Franklin Pierce.

Then I looked up Rachel's and it got even crazier because Rachel is born on the same day as Jane Appleton Pierce, the wife of Franklin Pierce. Coincidence? I think not!!!

Random Thoughts

Wow I guess Hillary Clinton isn't dead just yet. The power of Amy Pohler!!!

McCain...Ugghhh. At least his wife is nice to look at.

We had such a wicked thunderstorm last night at around 1Am that it woke me and Rachel up. Luckily Max didn't wake up from it. Of course if I flush the toilet or drop my Chapstick down in the basement he hears that and wakes up. But the house shaking and sheets of rain slamming into the house, he sleeps like a baby. I guess he thought it was one of those nature sounds cd's.

I used to love iTunes for managing my music, but I've really grown to dislike it. It's so bloated, slow and unstable. Maybe it more stable on a Mac, but on a PC it just sucks. But Im not spending $2000 to but a Mac.

This taste of spring weather the last few days has been awesome. It's giving me the old "golf fever".

Ahh Brett Favre, you will be missed. The Packers are gonna suck so bad with Aaron Rogers at QB. I wonder how long it took before Fox, ESPN, NBC and CBS were calling Brett Favre to come work for them.

Can Amy Adams be any lovelier?

Success has turned Jerry Seinfeld into a real asshole. I mean he was always pompous, even during his show. He was the stable, good looking, mature one who had women throwing themselves at him, while his friends were all wacky losers. But now he is just the king of pomposity.

I was disappointed by Lindsay Lohans Marilyn Monroe photo spread. All those freckles turn me off, and she has flat nipples. I was expecting better. I'm not a pervert for looking, I'm empowered like those whores on Lipstick Jungle and Desperate Housewives!

Call Empire Today!!!

I was surprised to see that the new 80gig iPod "classic" is the same size and thickness as my iPod Touch.

Mrs. Obama looks like Omarosa from the Apprentice.

If Barack becomes president, will we have to start pronounce Alabama differently?

I'm a big fan of DHL. I think Fedex and UPS have gotten so big, they don't care about their customers. DHL is a distant third and they seem to try harder.

Break Dancing

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