A few things...

Is it just me or is Hillary Clinton "blowing her load" 2 years too early? Won't everyone be sick of her by the DNC next summer?

The first four episodes of 24 were four of the greatest hours of television I've ever seen. But the last 2 weeks have really sucked. Could this be another case of someone blowing their load too soon?

The fact that Epic Movie was the #1 movie last weekend is really sad to me. It seems like every movie we get from Netflix lately sucks, sans "Little Miss Sunshine". LIttle Miss Sunshine was ok, but it wasn't great either. But definitely head and shoulder above everything else we've been eating.

I watched Fargo over the weekend. Man that movie still rocks after all these years. The dialog in that movie is classic! I think Im gonna try to watch one favorite movie a week from now on. I used to be able to recite a lot of these movies, but I can't really do that any more. So it's time refresh my memory! Hrmmm, sounds like I need a video iPod!

Borat comes out on DVD on March 6th. I know what I'm getting Rachel for her birthday ;-).

I had this weird dream the other night where I was playing Bocce ball and horsehoes on the Wii. I actually think they would play really great on the Wii. If they ever do make a Bocce ball game for the Wii, Im so making a Mii of fat Leo.

Speaking of the Wii, I am now a pro in Bowling and Tennis. When you become a pro in Bowling you get this cool new ball with like an argyle pattern on it. I didnt notice any change when I became a pro in tennis. I still suck at boxing.

Two weekends ago, we played tennis with 4 people and 4 controllers. Holy crap was that fun!

Wii Play comes out in 2 weeks! YEAH!!!

Only 6 days, 9 hours, 15 minutes till we get a new episode of Lost!!!

Bill Gates is a really bad liar. I saw an interview with him the other day and the reporter asked him if the look of Windows Vista was inspired by Mac OSX. Bill shifted around and squirmed in his chair like a 2nd grader who just got caught cheating on a test.

The bald patch on the side of my head is shrinking!!!

David Letterman and Paul Shafer celebrate their 25th year of Late Show and Late Night this week. Wow, this made me realize that I've been watching Letterman for over 20 years. If I remember correctly, I started watching Dave when I was like 14. Congrats Dave and Paul!

FORE!!!

Day 45- Longing for Golf
Originally uploaded by squilky.

Wow, can you believe Tiger Woods won AGAIN!? Man now I want to really play some golf!

Bigger size HERE

Ramblings...

Polkarama by Weird Al is his finest work yet. It’s really genius. The song is so damn catchy.

Im happy to see Peyton Manning making it to the Super Bowl. The guy is the unofficial face of the NFL, so it’s nice to see him participating in the biggest sporting event of the year.

Ladanian Tomlinson was right about Bill Belichick. He has no class. Not sure if everyone saw it, but at the conclusion of the Pats-Colts game on Sunday, Tony Dungee walked across the field to shake Belichick’s hand. Dungee was wearing the AFC champion hat at the time. He took the hat off as if to not rub it in Belichick’s face. Belichick proceeded to walk past Dungee without shaking his hand. Much like the baseball team from Massachusettes, no class!!! It’s not like Tony Dungee is some loud, pompous ass. He seems like one of the nicest, good natured guys around. He doesn’t look at all like Jesus, but he talks like a gentleman….

Over the weekend we played Wii tennis with 4 people using 4 controllers. Wow was that fun. A little dangerous in a confined space, but fun! And don’t let Rachel’s cute, angelic face scare you. She’s quite the Wii boxer. She’s like Mike Tyson in 1988. In 30 seconds you’ll be down on the canvas with no bladder control.

There was no marijuana residue in Michael Vick’s water bottle. If this is indeed true, I find this story even scarier. Was was he trying to get on the plane with a water bottle with a secret compartment if he wasn’t trying to carry weed with him? Raise the terror alert to red and black!!!

Wow 24 has been awesome some far this year. I sort of lost interest in it last season, but this season sucked me right back in.

Armed and Famous is hysterical!!! It’s like Cops, if the cops were Jack Osbourne and Latoya Jackson!

I like it when you call me big pappa!!!

I think every person from the Hollywood Foreign Press deserves one nice bitchslap of Merryl Streep after her WAY TOO LONG acceptance speech last week at the Golden Globes. I guess Im not sophisticated enough, because I didn’t get any of what she was saying. I mean, I understood the words she was saying, they just didn’t make sense when placed all together to form sentences.

And Sascha Baron Cohen…way to go Borat!!! He deserved that award. Unlike every other actor nominated, he didn’t get a chance to do 10 takes to get it just right. He had one shot!

Thank goodness for DVR’s. 24 is on the same time as Heroes. Not cool.

Have you ever sat for too long in one position and suddenly you realize your leg feels like ginger ale?

A gay man told me I was handsome the other day. Sure, I would prefer if the cute checkout girl at the supermarket gave me a compliment like that, but I’ll take what I can get. I know what the checkout girl really means when she asks me “Do you have your ‘bonus card’ sir”? Oh you dirty little minx. Paper or plastic? Indeed!!!!

If I were an NFL head coach and my players dumped Gatorade on me, I would make them run laps for so long, their feet would fall off.

When I hear Hillary Clinton speak, Im reminded of the way black comedians make fun of the way white people talk.

Oh those wacky Austrians

There's actually a town in Austria named "Fucking". Probably named by the governator himself...

My German isnt too good, but I think the sign means "Not so fast". Im sure it's intended to mean to slow down because there are children near by. But when you combine fucking with not so fast, that's comedy gold. Remember chaps, for her pleasure, not so fast!!!

Some Weekend Comments

Wow, in the span of like 4 hours, both NY football teams were eliminated from the playoffs. As a side note,
Chad Pennington looks dreamy in high def. I realized how little national exposure the Jets get. I didn't know
who half the Jets were when I tuned in the game. The Giants on the other hand have been on national TV 2 or 3 times
or were part of a two game doubleheader on fox another 2 or 3 times. I gotta tell ya, even though the Jets got their
asses handed to them, they were a lot more excited to watch than the Giants. Eli looks so lost and clueless. In his
defense, once Amani Toomer got injured, he didnt really have anyone else to throw to except for Plaxico, and he is
usually being double covered. And for such a big guy, Jeremy Shockey is so injury prone.

Im putting on my Carnack turban and making a prediction. Someone will get killed in or around the movies
when Stomp the Yard comes out this friday.

I bet that kid who got "hit" by Tigger deserved it. One of the guys I used to work with claims that when he was
about 8 or 9 he was kneed in the groin by Chuck E Cheese because he kept throwing stuff at the overgrown mouse.
If the parents see 1 penny from Disney, a great unjustice has been done. I hope that little 13 year old fruit cake
gets harassed when he goes back to school. When you are 13, you shouldnt cry at Tigger. The whole incident with
Tigger sounds funny. There is an old Jerky Boys sketch where Frank Rizzo calls up Disney and says complains that
the guy in the Goofy costume was drunk and was chasing his kids through a fountain at Epcot.

It also reminded me of when I was like 7 and my sister took me to the circus. We had front row seats and this clown
came over during the show and honked my nose really hard and threw confetti at us. Damn, I should have sewed the
Ringling Brothers. I could have been rich!!!

Will someone please give Carmen Electra some real acting work? Or I feel bad for her doing Ritz Camera and Taco Bell
commercials. And I dont want to think of sweet, hot Carmen sitting on the bowl with Taco shits. It's not right!!!
You know who should be doing Taco Bell commercials? Rosie O'Donnel and the woman who used to play Mimi on the Drew
Carrey show. I could totally believe they would eat at Taco Bell. Carmen Electra, not so much. When Carmen Electra
"drops a deuce" I like to imagine that it smells like cucumber mellon and sweet pea.

I'm stuck at like 970 points in Wii bowling. You need 1000 points to make it to pro status and it seems like every
time we play lately, Rachel beats me. I guess it does get harder as you progress. Or I just don't have the strength
and nerves of steel to compete as a professional "cyber" bowler. I don't have the stuff to be the next Dick Weber!

Fairwell to Randy Johnson. This guy is a cancer. He didnt get along with Jorge Posada. Everyone loves Jorge Posada.
Jorge Posada was good enough to be the catcher when the Yankees won 4 World Series titles, but he wasn't good enough
for Randy Johnson. Good ridance you 6 foot 10 freak. Be sure to grow back your bitchin' mullet now that you don't
play for the Yankees anymore. And good news, now that's back in the national league he'll have to bat again. So
those of you who want to know what it looks like for a praying manthis to swing a bat, be sure to watch exciting
Diamondback baseball!

Damn this is funny...

I laughed out loud at the how to take a shower like a man. It's funny because it's true. Especially the "woo woo" part.

How To Shower Like a Woman
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire wiener size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. Throw wet towel on bed.

Day 30-Multitasking

Day 30-Multitasking
Originally uploaded by squilky.

I've completed 30 self portraits so far. 1 month down 11 to go. I really don't know if I can come up with ideas for 11 more months, but we'll see. I like the way this one came out.

Unbelievable...

It baffles me that there is so much turmoil and speculation regarding the execution of Saddam Hussein. Does it really matter that Saddam is a Suni and he was taunted by the Shiites before his execution? Does that change the fact that Saddam was found guilty of condemning 148 people to death? Not to mention all the other crimes he had no yet been tried for. What about the fact that under Saddams rule, people lived in constant fear. A country in which the families of political victims received their body parts in the mail! An Iraq which tens of thousands of Kurds could be murdered with chemical weapons. Why the remorse for Saddam?

I just wonder if there was remorse like this when the people of Italy drug Mussolini through the streets? Or when the world found out that Hitler had taken his own life. I don't understand why the media insists on making the US look like the bad guys for capturing Saddam and helping the Iraqi's put him on trial.

Are you Karazy?

Do you like punk rock? Do you like punk rock music videos? Do you like punk rock music videos that feature little people sitting on the toilet? Do you like to see fat men wearing skipper hats sitting in bath tubs? Do you like to watch fat men dressed in a red dress do a rockin' guitar solo? Well if you answered yes to any of these questions, click play!!!

All night!! Every night!!! Well not every night, but almost every night!