You think you know a person...

I've known Niel for almost 20 years now. I think I saw the dark side of Niel yesterday...

Ani had just asked Niel if he was hungry. Niel's reponse was "No, Im not hungry but how would you like a knuckle sandwich!" Then he threw a right cross and struck Ani on the jaw...

Then Niel followed through and left Ani stunned. Look at the rage...

I think Ani suffered some mild brain trauma from the blow, because she started asking everyone to call her Daisy, and she began quacking like a duck...

And then Niel said "my name is Shooter", and in a drunken stupper, "Shooter" attempted to steal a tractor...

Am I being too brash?

Hurricane Rita is making everyone all crazy again. People are worried it's going to hit New Orleans again. Well call me crazy, but if it hits near New Orleans, wouldn't that be a good thing? I mean most of New Orleans is trashed already from Katrina. So if another hurricane hits, how much more damage can it reall cause? Most of the people are already out of the area, so there wouldn't be much risk for more loss of life. On the other hand, if it's hits Houston, you are looking at the potential for billions of dollars worth of damage, loss of life and displacing more people. So as far as Im concerned, Rita have your way with New Orleans. Make New Orleans your bitch. Don't mess with Texas!

Armstrong's 7th Title in Jeopardy...

French officials announced Tuesday, their most credible evidence against 7 time Tour De France winner, Lance Armstrong. Members of the French athletic council as well as members of the Paris police force were on hand to announce their latest findings. Dectective Henri LaFaux announced that three substances banned by the French board who oversees the annual Tour De France competition were found in Armstrongs hotel room following the 2005 Tour De France. "We were shocked to find toothpaste, soap and deodorant in Mr. Armstrongs suite.These substances have been banned in France for over one hundred years. We will do everything in our power to make sure, these substances are never to be used again here in France. Shame on you Lance...shame on you."

Suresh...you are my hero

TV Record

Weeds

I recently started watching this series on Showtime called Weeds. It's about this widow, with two sons who sells marijuana. After her husband dies, she can't afford to live the lifestyle she has grown accustomed to, so she sells marijuana to the rich suburbanites in her neighborhood to help make ends meet.

So far the show has been super entertaining. I've seen 4 episodes so far, and they have all been very good. I believe this is the first season, but it seems there's a lot I don't know. So maybe I missed some previous episodes I don't know about.

Kevin Nealon was always one of my favorite SNL people. He's hysterical on this show. He plays this goofy, stoner CPA, who lives in the same posh neighborhood in Califnornia. In one episode he's at this medicinal marijuana store, and they have all these different blends of marijuana to choose from. It was setup sort of like a gourmet coffee shop. And this one variety was called "The Steven Hawking". So Kevin Nealon says something like "hey Im gonna grab some of that Steven Hawking stuff". And the woman he's with looks at him and says "Steven Hawking"? And he replies "Yeah, a few puffs of that shit, and they have to wheel your ass out of here".

My only complaint so far about the show is that it's only 30 minutes. Most of the original series on HBO and Showtime are an hour, but for some reason this one is only 30 minutes. You just get into the episode and it's over before you know it.

Touch Down for the King!!!

Wow, those new Burger King commercials with the King playing football are so awesome. I especially like the one where the king runs back the interception return and does the Deon Sanders dance. Awesome!!!

Lucky to be alive...

So I come home from work yesterday a little early and I hear some ruckus coming from the family room. I walk downstairs slowly and see Pedro (the wooden manequin), partying with a few of his wooden friends. I quickly grabbed my camera to snap a picture, but I guess I was a little too loud in doing so. Pedro heard me....and...and...he attacked me. First thing I heard was "get that f@!king camera out of my face!" Then before I knew it, I was down on the ground, bleeding and trembling. I managed to fight him off long enough to download this rather incriminating photo. Lets just say Pedro is not a pleasant drunk. So Pedro to you I say, alcohol abuse...It's Not Ok!!!!

Squilky...on the couch

Just a quick note on a few new shows that I've watched recently...

Last night I was flipping through the channels and came across the new Adam Corolla show on Comedy Central. I think it was called Way Too Late or something. What is this like the 30th show Adam Corolla has had on that station? Anyway, the show seemed pretty awful. He does this monolog from his desk, but the audience is like 10 feet away from him. What was really awkward was that noone really seemed to be laughing and when they are that close to you, that has to hurt. At one point Im pretty sure a woman called Adam a douchebag.

Fox's Prisonbreak on the other hand is a really entertaining show. I was a big fan of Oz, and obviously they can't get away with as much on a network show as they did on HBO, but the show is still pretty awesome. The basic premise of the show is that this architect's brother is on death row. The architect just happened to have help build the prison where his brother is. So he gets a full body tattoo of the blueprints of the prison. Then he goes and robbs a bank, and gets caught on purpose so he can be sent to the same prison to help his brother escape death row. You have all these different groups in the prison, black, hispanic, italian, gay, white supremisists. And the architect guy doesn't really fit in with any of them. In the first two weeks, he's already had one of his toes cut off with a pair of gardening sheers. So basically Prisonbreak is a lot like Oz, just with less anal rape. Don't get me wrong, there's plenty of anal rape, just not as much as on Oz. Oh yeah and no man junk.

Look a little closer...

Have you ever looked at a leaf on a plant? I mean really got up close and looked...

Hey Blanco...

How many people could have been evacuated using these buses?

In New Orleans, those in peril and those in power have pointed the finger squarely at the federal government for the delayed relief effort.

But experts say when natural disasters strike, it is the primary responsibility of state and local governments - not the federal government - to respond.

New Orleans’ own comprehensive emergency plan raises the specter of “having large numbers of people … stranded” and promises “the city … will utilize all available resources to quickly and safely evacuate threatened areas.”

“Special arrangements will be made to evacuate persons unable to transport themselves,” the plan states.

When Hurricane Katrina hit, however, that plan was not followed completely.

Instead of sending city buses to evacuate those who could not make it out on their own, people in New Orleans were told to go to the Superdome and the Convention Center, where no one provided sufficient sustenance or security.

What Shall I Name Him?

My life can be pretty borining sometimes...ok most of the time. Go to work, come home, eat, watch some tv, blah blah blah... So I was thinking maybe I'll create an alter ego. I mean hey it worked out so well for Garth Brooks as Chris Gaines. I have the mull the idea over a bit, see where I can take this thing. I don't know all the details but the alter ego will be:

• taller than I am
• more daring than I am
• will probably drive a motorcycle
• will have an adiction
• will have a fetish
• will travel to remote locations
• be very mysterious

Stay tuned...

A Visitor...

When Rachel and I first moved into the new house, we found a toad down in the basement closet. Well now we have a few small toads that like to hang out in our driveway. I managed to get pretty close to this little guy, I would have gotten closer, but I was freaked he was gonna hop on me.

Put Down the Latte!!!

Can I be serious for a moment...no I really can't. But anyway, I just wanted to stress to everyone how important it is to donate to the Red Cross. Go to www.redcross.org right now and give some money to help with the hurricane relief.

I know the jackals of the media have been harping on the people running out of Circuit City with plasma tv's, but I like to think that there are many more good people down at the gulf coast than there are looters. A lot of the people impacted didn't have a whole lot to begin with, and now they are literally left with the clothes on their backs. So take that money you were gonna spend on your giant moccachino latte smoothie, and give it to the Red Cross.

Squilky...On the Aisle

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory...

As probably one of the only people in America never to have seen the original with Gene Wilder, I wasn't really sure what to expect out of this movie. But I'm a big fan of Tim Burton, and Johnny Depp is just so damn dreamy to look at. If you're a fan of James and the Giant Peach and/or The Nightmare Before Christmas, you'll love this movie.

I was thoroughly entertained by this movie from start to finish. One of the things I know about the original movie was that the Oompa Loompas in the 1st movie sang this really simple, basic song. Well in the 2005 version of the movie, the Oompa Loompas do these well choreographed dance moves that would make Michael Jackson proud. There's one particular song called "Violet Beauregarde" that I have so stuck in my head right now.

Speaking of Michael Jackson, Johnny Depp's portrayal of Willy Wonka reminded me so much of Michael Jackson. The pale skin, the crazy outfits, the really soft spoken voice, and the chocolate factory reminded me of Neverland Ranch. Luckily in the movie, the kids are all accompanied by a family member and I don't recall any "Jesus juice" being served.

One of Charlie's grandfathers is this adorable old man. He just has this great way about him, I could listen to him speak all day. He seemed like a much more cuddly version of the crazy dancing guy from Six Flags. There's a scene in the movie where everyone is wearing these protective eye goggles. Charlies grandfather looked hysterical. He was a very frail man, so the goggles seemed bigger than his head.Ya know kind of like Paul Shafer.

Anyway...the movie is really visually stunning. Tim Burton is just a genius. The movie is just so bright, so vivid, so eye catching. And what's really cool is that the guy who plays Count Dooku in Star Wars plays Willie's dad! And the guy who is Basil Exposition from Austin Powers is also in the movie.

This movie gets 9 out of a possible 10 Wonka Bars