Ken, pack your bags...

I heard this morning that supposidly Ken Jennings will finally lose this week on Jeopardy. It may be coming a few days late, but Im very thankfull that he is finally going home. Im tired of seeing his goofy assed smile. I think he should imediatly be taken a to a research facility and disected to see what makes him tick. No man should know that much infromation. I've known people who are very knowledgable about sports, history, science, but I've never seen anyone who knows as much about Shakespear and Biology as he does pop culture and astronomy. It's just amazing. I was fascinated by him when he won his first million, but after that I just lost interest. Jeopardy used to be one of my favorite game shows. I watched maybe 4 times since the new season began and mostly during the teen and college weeks because I can actually answer those questions. So farewell you freak. See you at the tournament of champions (where Im lucky to answer 2 questions right).

Like so many other holidays , Thanksgiving has really departed from it's original intent. I don't know what pecan pie and deviled eggs have to do with giving thanks, but they sure are deliscious. But a holiday all about eating, watching football and being lazy is alright with me. So American :-). Thanksgiving for me is all about the 3 F's. Food, Football and Fu...making love. They need a holiday where you wake up around noon, then play 8 hours of video games, listen to music and then go back to sleep. Oh wait, those are called personal days :-).

So friday I'm at Best Buy. A store which I like to call Squilky central. It's such a beautiful place. Everything is so brightly lit up inside. You can touch and play with stuff. The only thing Best Buy is missing is they need Hooter type girls serving beer and wings while you shop. So I'm over by the TV's and this woman who sorta sounds like Mrs. Constanza walks over and says to her husband (who looked like a taller Edward Asner) "Oooh I like this plasmo one over here". Plasmo? So I started wondering if she replaces other vowels as well. Like when she wants a snack for lunch does she eat a sendwhich? Or when she goes to buy produce does she buy pitatoes from Idaha? After they looked at the plasmO tv's, she went over to the DVD section and bough SHROK 2 starring Cemeron Deoz and Uddie Marphy. Then she put on a Santa suit and bellowed "HE HE HE Murry Christmas!" Geesh, plasmo! What I find scary is that someone like her who doesn't even know how to pronounce it correctly, can have enough money to afford a plasma tv!!!

Well I hope everyone had a relaxing, fun Thanksgiving. I enjoyed spending time with the family, and relaxing. Oh and in between the relaxing, eating and sleeping we managed to do some shopping and decorated the house too.

7 Word Story

I had a little spare time last night and put on the finishing touches over lunch... Here's what I came up with. I decided to take a few words from the three lists of words instead of using one persons complete list. It's a warm story that will warm the cockles of your heart just in time for Turkey Day!

Parking lot, golden retriever, intern, coffee, lunch, book, weather.

James lay there, his body motionless, his mind racing a thousand miles per hour. His stomach began churning, his pulse quickened, his eyes began darting around the room. He felt sick to his stomach. He needed to calm down, He began counting backwards from 50. Slowly taking breathes of air in through his nose, and slowly letting the air escape between his parted lips. But it wasn’t working. Was it a rush of adrenaline from the sex? Was it guilt? Was it something he ate?

Breathing slowly only made it worse. He could barely swallow. His heart pounded inside his chest. Echoing like a basketball on a wooden gym floor. Beads of sweat, formed on his forehead and upper lip. He was cold, no he was hot, no he was both. Then came the pain. It felt as if someone had hit him in the chest with a rake. A dull thud, followed by sharp, shooting pain. Pain that started at the breastbone before surging down his left arm. The pain getting more intense with each beat of his failing heart.

James had just cheated on his wife. Ever since he interviewed Haley, he had envisioned her naked. Sure she was a young impressionable INTERN, but she was a young woman trying to get her foot in the door. James was what stood between her being an unemployed college student with a useless degree and her being an intern for one of the largest advertising firms in San Francisco. It didn’t matter that she wouldn’t be paid a salary. The $100 a week stipend was more than generous considering the real world experience she would gain working for Kellerman Advertising.

James had seen his associates diddle their interns before. That’s aweful he thought, disgusting. He never thought he would sink to their level. I’m better than that he always said to himself. When he saw Haley, he knew she was trouble. His weakness had always been redheads. Ginger from Gilligans Island, Dana Scully from the X files, Angie Evertheart on the cover of Cosmopolitan. Paired with a set of beautiful green eyes, Haley Bohan was the most beautiful young woman he had ever seen. He sat there interviewing her. Asking her about her schooling, what she had hoped to gain by interning at Kellerman’s. She answered him, repeating the lines she had practiced in the mirror in the days before her interview. But he didn’t hear a word. He was fixated on the way her pink, wet lips formed the words used to answer his pointless questions.

James tried his hardest to sit up from his reclined position, but he couldn’t move. His fingers reached out for the nightstand, desperately searching for his cell phone. He knew he needed to dial 911. He awkwardly swung his arm in the direction of his Motorolla V60. His large right hand landed heavily on the mahogany night stand, sending loose change and his car keys flying before coming to rest on the small flip phone. Hands shaking, he steadied just enough to dial the 9 with his now crooked, right index finger. Wrapping his trembling left thumb around the side of the phone to finish 1-1. He could barely feel the phone in his hands. His gazed fixed on the send key. Contorting his fingers, he managed to hit the little green key in the corner of the phone, completing the call.

“911 what’s your emergency?” he heard through the earpiece.

“I- I-I’m having a heart attack” James answered. Using every bit of strength to secure the tiny cell phone up against his ear. He knew 911 was his only hope. Haley had left the room to go downstairs to get them LUNCH. If he waited for her to return, it would surely be too late.

“OK sir, I need you to focus. Can you tell me your address?” asked the eerily calm 911 dispatcher.

“I’m at the Fillsmore Hotel, room 3…” he struggled to recall the room number. When you travel as much as James, room numbers all start to blend together. Was it 314? 318? You just remember that your room is third door down from the ice machine. Or your room is 67 paces from the elevator. Then James envisioned the girl at the front desk writing the numbers 3-1-5 down on the little paper sleeve that encased his electronic room key. “room 315” he stammered.

“Ok sir we’re going to get paramedics there right away. Stay on the line with me!” ordered the dispatcher.

“James wanted to say thank you, but mouthing words became increasingly difficult. He looked up the stucco ceiling above the bed. Counting the bumps and ridges to help pass the time. His breathing becoming increasingly labored. The dispatcher continued to speak to James over the phone, but James could no longer hear her. Suddenly the ceiling was gone, replaced by a frantic display of images. The first image was James stepping out of his silver Mercedes in the PARKING LOT of the Fillsmore hotel. The next image was James sitting at the breakfast table, dressed in a shirt and tie, sipping a cup of COFFEE. James wife sitting across the table from him reading a BOOK. The images began to flash faster, reminding James of what he did before coming to room 315 in the Fillsmore hotel to sleep with his 21 year old intern. Images of his wife on their wedding day, his smiling daughter, his GOLDEN RETRIEVER named Sully. The images taking James further and further back into his life. Graduation day, little league, his first day of school. All passing before him in a flash. The flashing images were temporarily interrupted by sirens wailing in the distance. It was at that moment when James knew his rescuers would get there just a little too late.

James thought of his wife. She would learn that her husband had died that day. She would stand mouth agape, trying to understand how the man whom she had breakfast with a few hours earlier could be dead. Faced with the realization that her husband would no longer walk through the front door of their home after a long day at the office. But that wouldn’t be the worst news she would receive that day. She would learn that paramedics found her husband dead at the Fillsmore hotel. Her husbands snowball of lies growing bigger, racing downhill faster and faster. When all was said and done, she would know all the details. How police found women’s undergarments on the floor of the posh hotel room. How a used condom was found floating in the blue water of his hotel room toilet. She would have a million questions, but James Richard West would not be there to answer her questions. She would be left forever wondering about how many other affairs had gone on behind her back. Always wondering if a late night meeting or a last minute business trip was a cover-up for her husband’s infidelity. Was his flight really delayed due to inclement weather? Or was he staying behind to bed a woman he had met the night before at the hotel bar?
As James took his final breath he knew his reputation as forever ruined. His wife would rightfully hate him, his business associates would view him as a hypocrite, his daughter would grow up to hate him. If only he could explain, if only he could have five more minutes. If only he hadn’t checked into room 3-1-5 of the Fillmore hotel.

The media is evil

I'm not trying to be all political here. It's just an observation...
Ok a month ago the media would have had you believe that everyone was against George Bush. Noone thought he was doing a good job. Not today CNN reports that 60% of Americans think the president is doing a good job. Hrmmmm.

I didn't see it live on the Today show, but I heard a replay of the interview Matt Lauer did with Ron Artest. Im sure the English professors are St. Johns Universirty are very proud at the strong command of the English language that Mr. Artest has. How is life fair? Ron Artest has a Bachelors degree and I don't. Geesh. They don't hand out too many basketball scholarships to short, uncoordinated white guys :-). My favorite comment from Artest was when Matt Lauer asked him if he acted in self defense. He said he was scared because the beverage thrown at him was dripping in his eye. IDIOT!!! Days like today make me so proud to be from Queens.

I will give props to Matt Lauer. Granted Artest was in a studio in Indiana while Lauer was in NY, but LAuer didn't ask snowball questions. He called him out. Im sure if Artest was sitting across from Matt Lauer, he wouldn't have been as balsy.

Weekend are so short...

A few weeks back Rachel and I went to see the horror flick Saw. We enjoyed it. But what struck me was a movie we saw the trailer for before SAW began. It was called Life Aquatic and starred Bill Murray. The movie looks so promising. I hope its more Royal Tennenbaums and less Lost in Translation.

Man do weekends go by fast. But I do have a 4 1/2 day weekend to look forward this coming weekend. Im sure Rachel will keep me busy. She's already hinted that she wants to get the Christmas stuff out and decorate this weekend. If it were up to her we would have decorations up 365 days a year. But I do have myself to partially blame for her love of decorating. A large percentage of the stuff we have for decoration is stuff I either purchased for her as a gift or bought because I saw it and thought she would enjoy it. I'll try to post some picture of our "winter wonderland" once all the decorating is through.

I stayed up to watch the end of the Packers-Texans game last night and man am I dragging ass. The game didn't end till 11:45. But Im glad I stayed up to watch it. Brett Favre performed some of his late game heroics. The Packers won by kicking a field goal as time expired. And it was a VERY close call. The kick skimmed the right upright and just stayed inside. Since Brett Favre has hinted that he may retire at the end of the season, it could be one of the last game I see him play in. The game even had Rachel's attention. She stayed up and watched with me.

I finished Digital Fortress the other night. I highly recommend the book. Really good stuff. Easy reading. I started reading Lullaby by Chuck Palianiuk. Im about 130 pages into it. The books main story is really good, but all the side banter about antique furniture, cults, etc is getting on my nerves. Maybe it will all tie together at the end, but right now it just seems like Chuck is using it add some weight to the book. We'll see how the last 150 pages are. He has a way of making you want to read on. I hate to put the book down once I get started.

If this is my lasy post before Thanksgiving, have a happy freakin Thanksgiving everyone....

Scruminng for Busg

Further proof that President Bush kicks ass. I like a president who isn't afraid to get his hands dirty.

http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/americas/11/20/apec.bush.security.ap/index.html

Give me words...

Back in the day I used to belong to this online forum that shared stories. Each month people would take a random list of 7 words and encorporate them into a story. Well I've been reading a lot, and it's given me the urge to want to write a short story. So please send me a list of 7 words (nothing too obscure, words you would use in ordinary conversation) and I'll see what I can come up with. I wont promise a Robery Ludlem type thriller, but I will share whatever I come up with. My goal right now is to keep it short, around 1000 words.

Thanks...

Back to School

So do I need to break out my beer bong from the closet and start practicing the triple lindey (we miss ya Rodney). Well not exactly, but starting in January I will be going back to school one night a week. I signed up to take a photography class at a local community college. I feel like I hit a wall as far as the learning curve goes, so I hope to learn some new tricks; especially in the area of photo composition.

So this morning Rachel and her mom headed down to Raleigh to spend a few days with Audra and the kids. This means I'll be playing a shitload of Madden, Halo2 and Flight Sim tonight hehe.

The War on Terror

Future proof that the war on terrorism IS working...

Inspector Gadget

Those who know me know that I am an electronics/gadget junky. I love getting some cool new gadget to play with. So yesterday I go get the mail and I see on the cover of FHM they have their big holiday gadget issue. Now they had some really cool stuff in there, but a lot of it was way out of my price range. Sure I would love a $6000 plasma TV, but So I decided to write a post about one of the coolest, somewhat affordable gadgets I have seen in a long time. And yes, I'm asking Santa (aka Rachel) to bring me this for Christmas. I first saw it at Best Buy the other night and have been fascinated by it since.

http://www.ofausa.com/remote.php?type=URC%209960

It a universal remote that has no buttons!!! When the remote is powered off, it's just a solid field of blue. But then when it's powered on, the buttons are illuminated and ready for clicking. It's really an ingenious design. It does macros too which is really neat if you have a home theatre. Lets say you want to watch a DVD. You can program a macro to turn on your tv, turn on your DVD plater, switch to the proper video input on your tv and power on your surround sound with the push of one button. Swwwwweeeeet!!!

Happy Holidays!!!

Rudy is the man...

After watching last nights election coverage, there were a few things that stood out.

1) There were an awful lot of goofy looking fellas wearing bow ties covering the election.

2) Peter Jennings needs to take a geography lesson. (What do you expect from a Canadian).

3) I'm pretty sure Larry King is suffering from some sort of brain disorder. He just asks the dumbest questions off the top of his head.

4) Paul Zahn is easy on the eyes

5) Young people can't be counted on. I thought for sure after the overwhelming win on college humor.com for Kerry that young people would make a big difference. But I guess they were too busy painting their breasts and shaving their privates into the shape of a donkey to get out and vote.

6) The media made the hatred of George Bush seem way worse than it really is. It didnt surprise anyone that California and NY voted Democratic. The two states that are the media capitals of the world. People in the entertainment industry have had a platform to bash George Bush for the past year or so. They can go on a talk show and say how displeased they are. But when all is said and done, they get in their limo and go back to their mansion. Susan Sarandon and Bruce Springstein don't live in the real world. They live in their own, super rich world. The average American who works, pays taxes and is trying to raise a family lives in the real world. And their voice was heard yesterday in the voting booth. The heartland of America, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Georgia, the Dakota, the Carolinas, Utah, Colorado, etc all favored George Bush. They finally had a voice yesterday.

7) Rudy Guiliani is a better man than both Bush and Kerry. He made the best point last night. He was oviously happy that George Bush was doing so well. But he was ready to accept the facts if Kerry won. More Republicans need to work with Democrats and vice versa. The betterment and advancement of the US is more important than party lines.

8) Howard Stern had a good point this morning. He thinks people like Michael Moore and other Hollywood types inevitably hurt John Kerry. A lot of people are angry at Michael Moore, and if he is backing a Democrat, they want no part of it. When someone sees Ashton Kutcher on TV saying the past 4 years Americans have been "Punk'd", its not going to get your average man or woman to rush out and vote Democratic.

I Hope the next 4 years aren't like the past year. I wish we could all ban together like after Sept 11th. Im tired of all the hatred and fighting going on anong friends, family, neighbors, co-workers and media personalities. A nation divided will not stand.

Figure This Out...

FrgbiietaiswecwedsIeoeiesoaebncesonttttarata.nnroturam,hhnsttdabIbddueeemmteeiebhDllhoIatdMaeehDfgeooaFeaowyhteltneaihmosnotvkeaohalidsVrtskeBroeirnwanomaaisal.ortunnedwtdfebmntni%forn'ycweNtf.oec4dk%ywedtehewihtSogicIe%onseraacepehokuchaa%u'srertor/SeEbyoamr%ws,sastmeToauywdphe%hbytd.imdupigDhetoa%oooaaEneicrreao.eol%hounfugnskaannwIrkl%ak'digyta,nteBrrsey%vDltceeepRotrroeldg%eilhtnsdoesheotaa.r%

That is an actual message above. To figure out what it says, go to http://flipsource.org/scripts/caesar.php

paste the encrypted message, paste it into the black box and click decrypt...

Sharpies

I forgot to mention that the new Restractable Sharpies kick ass. They tip is very fine, so you can write with precision like a regular pen, but you can use it to label stuff like DVD's. Thank you Rachel for getting me a multi colored 10 pack. I can't wait for them to get these at work so I can raid the supply closet.

Wow do I have a lot of random stuff bouncing around my head....

We saw the Grudge Saturday night and if this crap passes as a great horror movie, movies are as sad and pathetic and the current music scene. It's like they took three or four popular horror movies and threw it in a blender to make the Gridge. Such crap. I'm hoping Saw is better. That just looks super creepy, but so did The Gridge in the trailers.

I would like to take a moment to thank Drew Brees. Chad Pennington has been my strarting QB for most of the season. on a whim about 3 weeks ago I picked up Drew. I decided to start him yesterday in my work fantasy league since Pennington will play tonight against a tough Miami defense. After the 1:00 games yesterday I was losing to one of my co-workers by over 50 points. But then Drew Brees threw 5 TD passes agsint the stellar Raiders defense accounting for 43 fantasy points! Plus with a little help from Warrick Dunn I ended up winning 119-105. Woohoo!!!

Rachel and I had never seen the full original Exorcist. We had seen bits and pieces and heard a lot about it, but had never sat and watched the whole thing. Three things really stood out 1) The acting in the 1970's was awful and so over the top and 2) I was sort of offended by all the cursing and foul language of the movie. I had no idea people in the 70's used the "C word". 3) The young priest (Damien) looks like a vietnam era John Kerry.

80 degrees on Halloween. Wow. I'm outside in shorts and t-shirt power washing my sidewalk on the last day of Halloween. Gotta love it. We didn't have a single trick or treater. Perhaps me wearing safety goggles and shooting a high powered stream of water scared some of the kids away. Oh damn, I guess I'll have to eat all the Baby Ruths and Reeses Sticks now.

We've had our DVD player for about 4 years now, so it doesn't have some of the more up to date features like progressive scan and component input. So I headed out to Best Buy the other night looking to spend some of my gift cards that I had received for my birthday. I found this $40 DVD player by a company called Cyberhome that just rocks. It can play just about anything. DVD, SVCD, VCD, MP3, DVD+R, DVD-R, CD-R, CD-RW, picture disks etc. It's amazing. Plus it has progressive scan and component input. $40 with a $5 rebate. Sweeeet!!!

There's a relatively new show on ESPN called "I'd Do Anything". It's basically a sports themed Fear Factor. They did something completely out of line on one of the recent episodes. They had these 4 girls on. Each of them were a sports cheerleader of some kind. Most of them were NBA dancers. They had them run a 5k race, which isn't so bad. But after each lap around the track, they had to eat 1/2 pound of food. 1st lap they had to eat a 1/2 pound of nachos, 2nd lap was ribs, then it continued where they had to eat chili, a burger, cole slaw, a milk shake, and potato salad. It was horrible. The girls were basically running around with puke buckets most of the time just hurling their brains out while running in 102 degree weather. It was hideous. And they didn't cut away when they got sick like Fear Factor does. You could hear the puke splattering in the buckets. What made it worse was that if 2 people finished a lap around the same time, t6hey had to sit at the same table while they ate. So one would throw up, and it would make the other sick. Hideous!!!



Seacrest...OUT!