News Years Resolutions

I looked back at my 2004 resolutions and man there was a lot I didn't do. So I will have a jam packed day trying to finish up my list for 2004.

Here's a few items I will be working hard on over the next 12 hours...

1) Impregnate a super model
2) Run with the bulls in Pamplona Spain. Well would running from a neighbors Jack Russel count?
3) Direct and star in an academy award winning film.
4) Design and distribute 1,000 of bobble heads of myself to area children
5) Resurect Kirk Cobain from the dead and get Dave and Krist to jam with us
6) Get J-Lo to dump Mark Anthony and marry Wilford Brimley
7) Challenge Andy Rooney to a duel
8) Get Heidi Klum on a slip and slide


Not to sound like a negative nelly, here's a look back at what I did accomplish in 2004.

1) Poison Dick Clark so Regis could host New Years Rockin Eve
2) Assasinate a lead guitarist of a rock band.
3) Get my scrotum pierced
4) Punch a midget
5) Flick off an old lady
6) Eat more CHIKIN!!!!
7) Find someone to marry Star Jones
8) Get Malcolm Jamal Warner back on TV
9) Fall down a flight of stairs
10) Laugh and point at someone in a wheelchair


Does anyone have J-Lo's cell number?

Merry Christmas

Rachel and I would like to wish you a Merry Christmas!!! And for those of you who don't celebrate Christmas have a great Saturday and Saturday eve!!!

Honey? Have you seen the baby this morning?

Sad when it's 40 degrees and it feels balmy outside.



A few months back I wrote that I wanted a truck. But with crazy gas prices (thank you environmentalist), it's kind of a scary time to get one. But I think I may have found what will be my next vehicle. Nissan announced the 2005 Nissan Xterra. I've always been a big fan of the Xterra. They look cool, are solidly built and while they are roomy, they don't take up an entire zip code like an Escalade or a Hummer. The one thing holding me back is their engine selection is a bit weak. Current in the 2004 model it comes with a V6 engine that only puts out 180 horse power. However the 2005 model will come with a much beefier 250 hp engine that puts out 280 foot pounds of torque. What does all that mean? It means while all the bitches in their Mercedes and BMW's are stuck in the snow or mud, Xterra's will be kicking mud in their direction as it frees itself from the murky grip of wet earth. So now I'm sold. I think when they come out this winter, I'll lay low for a while let the initial rush pass and then BAM, XTERRA time!!! A coworker has a 2004 model and loves it. He let me drive it the other day and damn was it cool. It's not nearly as cushy and refined as my Accord, but thats exactly whats wrong with my Accord. The car is too nice, too quiet, too smooth. I want a vehicle with some stones, with a little bit of muscle and a lot of soul. In the immortal words of Eric Cartman...KICK ASS!!!




Robots are our friends. I think its funny how in 2004 we had a movie called I-Robot, which I havent seen yet, but I believe is about a robot that goes over the edge and kills someone. So isn't it Ironic that one of this years hottest gifts is the Roomba, a robotic automatic vacuum made by a company named iRobot. Hello people, have we learned nothing from Will Smith? Was he not correct when he said Uncle Phil was fat? And what about all the life lessons in Independence Day and Men in Black!!! I predict these vacuums will work according to plan during the day, but at night it will undock itself and eat babies!!!! If I ever get one, I'm calling it Rosie.

Bests and Worsts of 2004

Here's some of my highlights and lowlights of 2004...

Best song of 2004-Duality by Slipknot
Best video of 2004- All to Blame by Sum 41
Best song with a lame video-Just Like You by Seven Days Grace
Gayest Video of 2004- Slither by Velvet Revolver
Best new show of the year- Rescue Me
Game of the year-For XBOX I'd have to say Madden 2005. I've gotten a lot of game play out of that. Being able to play online against real people is just awesome!!! For the PC I would have to say Microsoft Flight Simulator.

Most annoying commercial of the year-Apples U2 Ipod commercial
Most annoying person of the year- A tie between Teresa Heinz Ketchup errr Kerry and Donald Trump
Good show that got even better-Mythbusters thanks to their addition of hot "Mythterns"
Favorite new car-Toyota Prius

Favorite invention of 2004-iTrip by Griffin Technology. Ok technically it came out in 2003, but I got mine for Christmas last year so I didn't really use it till 2004.

Favorite Catch Phrase of 2004-"Drop it like it's hot". Narrowly beating out "lets hug it out, bitch"

Author of the year: Dan Brown

Favorite fad: Texas Hold'em on TV

People I'd like to see more of in 2005: Hillary Duff and that female beach volleyball player from the US Olympic team.

People I don't want to see less of in 2005: Lindsay Lohan and pictures of Kirsty Alley snacking on babies on the covers of tabloids. GET IN ME BELLY!!! I USED TO BE ON CHEERS!!!!

Most used service: One hour digital prints from Sams Club.


And here's a brief summary of what I would like to see in 2005.

In 2005, I would really like to see fewer people. There are just way too many around, and they seem to be getting dumber. I hope spinner rims on SUV's and cars in general starts to lose it's appeal. Damn I hate those things. I hope gas prices continue to drop because I would really like some sort of truck. I filled up last night for $1.69 and thats the cheapest I can remember it for quite some time. I'd like to see a musical revolution. I'm tired of the Good Charlottes and the Simple Plans in the music world. They all sound the same. Wah wah wah, my childhood sucked. Wah wah wah, my girlfriend dumped me. Wah wah, wah I'm gonna cover myself in tattoos. I'm eagerly awaiting the January 2005 release of Hypnotize by System of a Down. I hope that is a sign of good musical things to come. Id like to see less reality shows, and more quality programming and for heavens sake no more CSI spin offs. CSI the original is great. CSI-Miami is awful. CSI NY is even worse. STOP IT!!! Most of all I would like to see more unity. Since 2004 was an election year, it's understandable why there was so much division. I hope people can overlook their political differences so we can all be fat, obnoxious, loud, opinionated and overbearing together as one big country!

It's beginning to look a lot like KRAUSmas

Here's a few random pics from this past weekend...

Rachel showing off her nutcrackers...huh huh I wrote nut!





Me trying to figure out what's inside this box...




Rachel licking her chops




Me trying to lift my box of coal...

Work...

Here's the sign outside my office...




Here's the "view" from my desk. What I stair at for a good 40-50 hours a week...





And here's me looking oh so thrilled...

Random Stuff...

Wow it's been a while since I posted anything. Working till 10:00 at night can really cut into your blogging time. But anyway...Here's some random stuff that I'm gonna throw out there, Andy Rooney style.

My new favorite term is "lets hug it out, bitch". I don't know what it means exactly, but it just sounds funny.

The new Jimmy Eat World "CD", Futures is pretty good. One of the better "CD's" of the year. In favt I think the song "Futures" should replace that dumb "Auld Ang Sein" song. And Futures is a lot easier to spell.

Man, I love me some eggnog!

Playing blackjack and texas hold'em online is very addictive.

I'm turning into one of those old people who buys stuff off of HSN excessively. On that note, I'm the proud owner of the Wolfgang Puck 200W Blender/Chopper. Hey it was the special value of the day, and they had it in red!

I was in the Fossil store on Friday. Looking at all those watches, my head damn near exploded. Having a Fossil store so near my house is simply dangerous.

Comedy Central's 2004 Review show was very disapointing. Then again anything featuring "Cathy Griffin" is gonna disapoint me. I don't believe in violence against women, but she needs a good neck slappin'.

Marindated pork tenderloin is deliscious. It was so good, I was tearing at it like a caveman trying to get every last morsil. Meanwhile Rachel just watched me, rolled her eyes and offered me a fork.

The best part of waking up is NOT Folgers in your cup. It's morning nookie.

If you're near an Applebees, try their Asian Chicken Wrap. It's cool, it's hot, it's deliscious!!!

Wrapping presents sucks!

Gift bags, kick ass!!!

My car is so dirty, the children in the neighborhood drew designs with their fingers on the hood.

Yesterday was perhaps my saddest day as a NY Giants fan. I know Peyton sucked in his first year, and Brett Farve took a few years to emerge as a good QB, but man Eli looks clueless out there. But facing the Eagles and Raven will probbaly do that to anyone. Next stop Pittsburgh. Uggghhh!!! All I know is that he's awesome in Madden.

On Sunday I was listening to some Damageplan in honor of Dimebag's murder. And the song Blink of an Eye came on. Seems almost prophetic...

"THAT'S JUST HOW FAST YOUR LIFE CAN CHANGE
IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE, EVERYTHINGS ERASED"

So true...so true.

Happy Holidays!

9 x 5

W A I A Y E M S H E W E T A A I R M P R
S R A P B H Y S Y I Y C A N T O H N E C
U R D W H

Suck it!

The head elf says "SUCK IT!!! Oh yeah and Merry Christmas"

Seasons greetings folks :-)

Ho Ho Ho

Here's my little Goddaughter Ashley's holiday pictures. Damn she's cute, oh yeah and pudgy :-)