Sono un bastardo grasso

So I've been hearding about this "never ending pasta bowl" up at Olive Garden on the radio. So Rachel and I went to the Olive Garden on monday night and I gave it a shot. I ate so much pasta, it was insane. By far, my favorite was the tomato alfredo sauce on fetuccini. It was creamy and tangy at the same time. When I got to my 4th bowl of pasta, the waiter started looking at me funny. Despite the looks of confusion and disbelief, I ordered one last bowl of pasta. Linguini pizzaola. Looking back, it was probably a good thing that it turned out to be nasty. I ate a few forkfulls, and decided it was too gross to continue. So I stopped at 4 bowls and 2-3 fork fulls from the 4th bowl. Not bad for a guy who weighs 155 pounds :-).

I jokingly asked the waiter if I could swing by at around 8:45 before the Monday Night Football game for another bowl of pasta since it was "never ending" and he just smirked and said no. He then came by with the check and a polaroid camera to add my picture to the bastardo grasso (fat bastard) wall of fame. I came out looking like Dominick the bloated attorney Barbera. Beeds of sweat on my forehead, orange sauce stains in the corners of my mouth, my eyes glazed over.

I learned a few things...

1) next time I'm wearing sweatpants. Jeans are way too constrictive.
2) no bread sticks, they just take up valuable stomach space
3) Im bring some wet naps!